At the heart of my work as a neuroscientist is a question that has become part of how I move through the world: What allows us to truly connect with another person? Some interactions leave us feeling deeply seen, valued, and received. Others leave us feeling alone, even when we are together. My research explores the neuroscience of what happens between us—how our brains respond and adapt as we connect with another person. Connection is something we create together, shaping how we trust, care, collaborate, lead, and ultimately how we thrive together.
Of all the findings from our work, one has perhaps shaped my daily life most: expressing appreciation brings people closer. In one of our studies, people felt closer after expressing appreciation to one another, and we observed greater coherence between their brain activity in regions involved in social connection. When we genuinely express appreciation, we offer another person something deeply human. We say: I see you. I have paid attention. You matter to me. And there is courage in that, because in authentically sharing what another person means to us, we make ourselves visible, too.
So, join me in a little experiment this month. Think of someone you appreciate and message them to tell them why. It might be a passing thought you usually keep to yourself, or something that takes a little more courage to say out loud. Perhaps that is where deep connection begins. In the courage to let another person know that they have truly reached us.
🎥 Learn more about the neuroscience behind appreciation in the video below.